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Love each other or perish他们说，真爱越来越可遇而不可求了；
他们说，越来越难以相信所谓的爱情了； 他们问，为什么得不到苦恼，得到了厌倦； 就连歌里也唱： 不如这样吧， 选好走的路， 比较容易受祝福 厮守那么苦， 换个地方住； …… 我忍不住长长地叹息。
让我讲一个故事给你听： An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." ……
爱亦如此。
Love each other or perish 心灵之约回北京的几个月，见了不少老同学和老朋友。每次和不同的朋友聊天，总是会谈到都曾经熟悉的人。出国后疏于联系，对好多朋友的近况不是很清楚。几番见面回来，了解了一大堆的意想不到。一个人的时候，常常忍不住静静地想，怎么会呢，仅仅是短短四年的光阴。
突然发现原来的那些同学和朋友，十有八九都离了婚又结了婚。以至于，如果事先没有了解这个人的近况，突然见面的时候，我竟然不敢唐突地问候他的另一半了。男人们多是又找了更年轻漂亮的太太，女人们多是嫁了更成功更有钱的先生。那么爱情呢？跟年轻漂亮或者经济实力相比，爱情难道是第一个可以放弃的么？
这样的事实不免让人伤感。几个月里，我不断地听到类似的故事。每个跟我谈起的人都是一副见多不怪的口吻。我越来越弄不明白，婚姻和爱情到底还有没有关系。有一天，爸爸妈妈被请去吃喜酒。办喜事的是他们一个老朋友的儿子，刚刚三十出头，已经是第三次婚姻了。这个男孩子是个IT新贵，有房有车，在一个位于寸土寸金地域的知名写字楼买了整整两层的办公间。前两次婚姻都没有超过半年。第三任太太据说是一位将军的独生女儿。
我没有权力去评论别人的生活。两个人如果真的不合适，或者婚姻里已经没有了爱情，分手或许是最好的选择。我们总是有权力追求幸福的生活，寻找真正情投意合的恋人，这无可厚非。只是，有没有想过，婚姻不是简简单单的两个字或者一张证书，当我们因为相爱而选择婚姻的时候，我们应该明白，这是一个长久的commitment。这是一个需要做出牺牲和妥协去成全和坚守的约定。长长的一生，一定会不断地有诱惑出现在我们的生命里，物质的，新鲜的，美艳的，才华横溢的，谁知道呢。也或者，会不断地有磨难在前方等待我们，疾病，贫困，劳苦……问题是，我们怎么办？
有一次在看一个访谈节目的时候，谈到感情关系，Will Smith说过这么一句话：Divorce is not an option. You can not take it as an option. 如果把离婚作为解决问题的备选方案，我们一定不会付出十足的努力去建设一个好的感情关系。
或许这个社会真的太宽容了。所以才会有那么多人轻易地选择放弃。放弃努力，放弃曾经的婚姻，放弃曾经刻骨铭心的的爱情，放弃曾经相濡以沫的生活。
或许这个世界越来越浮躁了，以至于越来越多的人没有耐心真正地长久地爱一个人，不离不弃，地老天荒。
又或许这个时代实在是太物质了，才会有那么多人选择以物质替代爱情。
难道我们真的要到全部经历过才相信，不论是幸福还是磨难，只有爱才会与我们同舟共济？
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
----George Sand
Happy 2009~~~Happy New Year!It is the first day of the new year.
Tim and I decided to bake some cookies for ourselves. While the oven was working, I took a little time to read a little bit online on some famous New Year's Quotes. Quite wise...made me smile, made me think...I think I really should share these with my dear friends, as a New Year Gift.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. ~Bill Vaughn
We are still ok staying up till the midnight, pop open the champagne and kiss the loved one. Not sure if I am ever going to give up on this tradition. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan
I guess I am a born optimist:) Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin
I do hope I can become a better person each year, at least I never stop working on it:)
Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland
I truly like this perspective. Life goes on and on, and we gain wisdom through experience along the way. Comparing with being young and stupid, getting old with wisdom doesn't sound bad at all:).
The merry year is born
Like the bright berry from the naked thorn. ~Hartley Coleridge Yes, enjoy the berry and endure the thorn. New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
Oh yeah, New Year's Eve is a time that people think a lot and get emotional easily. So to those who are reading this blog right now, what was your thoughts this just past New Years Eve? The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ~P.J. O'Rourke
This one makes me laugh. I wasn't drunk last night, I kissed my husband at midnight...he is the love of my life.
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce
Aren't we all writing the book of our own life?
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown
This is quite true. I was worrying about all the cookies I ate during this holiday season. Now I felt much relieved after I read this wise saying:D. I shared with Tim and he loves it too. An hour later, when I asked him:" Honey, did you just finished the whole bag of chips?" He used this saying in a very timely manner to give himself a good excuse:D Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. ~Brooks Atkinson
Yes, let it go. Let yourself be able to find happiness.
But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. ~Andre Gide
LOL...New Years Resolution? oh, forgot to think about it:) One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs
I need to work on this...
It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. ~William Thomas
This reminds me of my regrets in 2008... Maybe I should try to let it go...
We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~Ellen Goodman Let's try to be a little nicer to ourselves in 2009:) A happy New Year! Grant that I |
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